Here we are, on the final learning reflection from this course ever. Is it weird to feel emotional? Probably, but that’s me, I always get emotional. I can’t even go to the movie theatre too early or else I cry during the Scotia Bank commercials. TRUE STORY! Anyway, that is not the reason why I’m writing. I’m writing because it’s time to release my final writing piece of this course and my final reflection. I’m also writing because, you know, it’s part of my grade!

First, let’s talk about this final assessment. We had to choose a profession in writing to give a presentation on. I chose lyricist. If you don’t know what a lyricist is, it’s a person who writes the words to a song without composing the music. After I made my presentation, my assignment was to write lyrics as a lyricist would. This is where the fun began.

For our final project, we were teamed up with a partner who would give feedback on our drafts. My best friend, Miya, who’s also in this course, asked me immediately if I wanted to do this with her. Of course, I said yes. 

When I video conferenced with Ms. O, I had a schedule to finish my work. I did not follow this schedule! I did with the presentation, which was the easy part, but I was stumped on the song. I decided, after a while of trying to create something new, to go through my notes and find old songs I had written. I was at Miya’s, and we were working on our homework together, when I read her some songs I wrote last summer. I stumbled upon one with the heading “Rough,” because that’s what it was, a really rough piece of work, and read it to her. She told me I should use that one, and that she really liked it. At first I was hesitant. I really didn’t and don’t feel that it’s my best work, but I needed something. So I edited it a bit, then made my first draft.

After revisions, it came to be what it is now. Unfortunately, you don’t have the luxury of knowing the melody for it that exists in my head, which may make it flow a bit weird for you. Maybe one day I’ll sell it to Ariana Grande. Would be interesting to see what she does with it.

I feel I have grown as a writer so much since the beginning of this course. My whole mindset has changed – there is so much I didn’t know! The biggest thing I learned was to not end quotations in conversation bits with periods unless that was the end of the sentence (no “she/he/they said” after the speech). I still don’t know why I’ve never learned that. I really like one of our big lessons that we’ve used throughout this whole course, which is showing rather than telling. I think of it a lot. It is something I still need to improve on for sure. In my future works, I know I will remember it and try my best to follow it!

I’ve become a better writer now. I feel much more open-minded. This course had me out of my comfort zone, and it feels so great to look back on now! I will definitely miss this course so much. I’ll miss the cool prompts, the awesome people I connected with, reading works of others and seeing just how creative people can be, and of course, the FEEDBACK! One of the biggest parts this class. I don’t know what I’ll do now that I don’t have these people to help me with my writing!! On the bright side, they all live fairly close, and I’ve met a few of them at least once. Leave it to me to email everybody in three months asking them to look over a new poem I wrote. I wonder if they really would.

And of course, I will miss you, Ms. O! I really did enjoy your class and the ways you interacted with us. You showed me many new platforms, including googledocs, which I will most definitely use again in the future, set us up for some super interesting pieces, and always offered help. Thank you for the advice on my pieces and all of the support you gave to us all! I will always remember you as someone who helped shaped me into the writer I hope to become. I really believe the biggest part of learning something is who you are learning from, and you did not disappoint. Even though this course was online, all of us involved got to know each other nicely. Our time was short and sweet, much like lots of the writing that went on!

Speaking of short and sweet, I’m sure we’re well passed that now with this reflection. So here I go, a butterfly fresh out of the cocoon, ready to publish more on this blog! Now that I’ve become familiar with the way a blog works and have finished this course, I will be using this site as my own personal blog. I think that is one of the coolest things I’ve gained this semester. Actually, it probably is the coolest, because I’m really not having fun in my functions class. I look forward to this new chapter as I, with a frown, say a BITTERSWEET GOODBYE to summative assessments and learning reflections, and hello to something new and unknown. Until the next post, I hope to see you there. 

Jurney

V1:

Would you look me in the eyes?

The eyes you said were so good?

The ones you could stare at for a lifetime?

If only you could

V2:

Would you look me in the eyes?

Tell me it’s okay?

Forget the past year,

And carry me up and away

Pre:

I’ve spent so long

Wondering how it happened

How could a love so sweet

Turn sour?

How can I let you go

So easily?

And how can you let me go?

I’m trying to see

Chorus:

And now I’m blind

I should’ve known what you’d do to me

I’m so blind

I should have never let you see me like this

You know my soul

How can I hide from that?

Your eyes

Your green eyes,

They told me lies

V3:

Every whisper and mention of forever

Only remind me of the colours I used to see

The glazed pearl of the snow in the trees

Or the contrast of the sky’s blue with the sea

V4:
All I know now

Are your emerald orbs so fine

Or the hints of brown in your eyes

Do you even remember the colour of mine?

Chorus:

And now I’m blind

I should’ve known what you’d do to me

I’m so blind

I should’ve never let you see me like this

You know my soul

How can I hide from that?

Your eyes

Your green eyes

They told me lies

Oh I’m blind

I should’ve known what you’d do to me

I’m so blind

You saw me for who I am

I’m beyond repair

I’m everywhere

You took me, crushed me, then took my eyes

Now I’m so blind I can’t even see your lies

Can’t even see your lies

Bridge:

Time has passed

I can see a new light

A new shade of green

One that’s rather nice

They remind me of yours

But our stars align

Because when I look him in the eyes

He looks back into mine

Isn’t that what true love is?

Chorus:

I was blind,

There was so much you hid from me

Was so blind,

I forgot just how pretty the sunset could be

You pulled a number on me

But now I’m free

And I can see

I’ve spent so long

Wondering how it happened

How could a love so sweet

Turn sour?

How can I let you go?

So easily

And how can you let me go?

I’m trying to see

I was blind,

There was so much you hid from me

Was so blind,

I forgot just how pretty the sunset could be

You pulled a number on me

But now I’m free

And I can see

Outro:

Goodbye to the memories

And hello to love evergreen

You know,

You never ruined that colour for me

Have you ever made a girl cry? Not out of laughter or joy, but out of pure heartbreak. There’s something really empowering about it. Obviously not for the girls, but for the one who just ripped their heart out.

I’ve made many girls cry. I’ve been through Whitney’s and Willas, even a Pam, a Paige, and Priscillas. Like fish, I consistently reel them in. They know what I’ll do, but they’re so attracted to it. They think they can change me. I wonder if they still feel that way as I laugh at their swollen cry-faces.

Let me get one thing straight: I would never physically hurt a woman. I’m a good person; I have morals and hate rapists as much as the next guy. I don’t come from a bad home either. My parents are happily married, the image of true love. So what made a boy from the picture perfect family like this? That’s something I ask myself too.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem. When I was in seventh grade, I got into a fist fight with this kid named Nathaniel Pyler. It was self-defense, really. He was a violent kid who often caused trouble. I was blamed for it, and my dad was called to the school. My dad and the principal got into it, and dear old dad gave him a bloody nose and two black eyes. Needless to say, that was my last day at that school. Dad used to be on medication for his anger issues, but I don’t know much about it anymore.

The first girl I “dated” was Lily Holland. I was thirteen at the time, and she was twelve. She was my next door neighbour. I grew up with her, so we knew each other well, and I really liked her. We had a sweet, innocent relationship. We had told each other “I love you,” within a week even though we barely knew the meaning. The relationship lasted eight months, up until the very moment I watched the moving truck pull out of her driveway. I was sad. Not because I was losing my girlfriend, but because I was saying goodbye to my best friend. When I asked her if we could finally have our first kiss when we were saying goodbye, she said, “No, Shawn, we’re too young,” then gave me a small hug. After we pulled apart, she shrugged her shoulders, said “See ya later, gator,” and I never saw her again.

Fast forward to grade nine, I met Tana Lindsay.  I just hit puberty and my hormones were crazy. I didn’t have any romantic feelings for her, but that didn’t stop my desire, if you know what I’m saying. I experienced many firsts with her; like when we were watching Fight Club and she kissed me, or when we were at Lachlan O’Leary’s house for one of his infamous parties and we became connected for life. I really didn’t like her though, and she had the worst laugh. Seriously. It sounded like the laugh that weird, bearded uncle who drinks milk and does crosswords on the toilet has. I couldn’t stand it.

Naturally, I tried to let her down easy, but she made it hard. She would cry whenever I’d bring it up, so I let the topic rest for a bit. It wasn’t until I heard her gushing with her girlfriends about marrying me that I realized I couldn’t take her anymore. Her parents were out of town and she asked me to come over. I did, and when I got to the door, I ripped her stupid heart right out of her fast-maturing breast (figuratively, of course. Not literally). Tana Lindsay, I’ll never forget the way you trembled and begged me not to leave. That was the first time I had ever broken a girls heart, and man, it felt good.

So I kept doing it, breaking hearts and taking names was my new addiction. It was so funny, too, because this one girl, Jennifer, had this best friend who tried to be intimidating. She stood me down (but had to look up) and told me, “Hurt her and I’ll hurt you,” What are you going to do, Shannon? Send me large paragraphs on how I’ll burn in hell? That’ll do it. Thanks, Shannon. You cured me.

And I honestly went on like this. I had no cares in the world. No respect for women or anyone’s feelings. But I know better now. It may not have been Shannon, but I like to think the disease has been kissed by its vaccine, and that vaccine comes in a syringe called Carmen with an agent called Britt. Take a seat. Put your feet up, grab a snack, be sure to get a drink (Arizona’s are only 99 cents!) and pay close attention, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. This is how I went from an unorthodox chemist to the forlorn poet who sits with his back to the trees and drinks lattes. How lame.

Hello again! Another learning cycle come and gone, another learning reflection! This unit, unlike previous ones, was not about poetry, but about non fiction and fiction stories. I was nervous at first. I’m typically not very good at writing short stories or writing with a word count, because it takes me such a long time due to my in depth creative process and because I like to stretch things out to be super long! 

In my grade nine english glass, we had to write a story using the hero cycle. God bless my teacher, because I had written five extremely long chapters and a prologue and was super stressed about finishing the book; he told me the assignment did not require the story to be complete, so I submitted what I had. Everyone else in the class had finished pieces, and mine, the unfinished one, was still the longest… I ended up getting a good mark and felt super proud. So when we got our second writing prompt for the course and it was on the hero cycle, I felt terrified! I couldn’t use my story from grade nine because it is still unfinished (but I planned out the whole story and its sequels and prequels!) and this prompt asked for slightly different things.

I first thought I could write a story about a single mother, because I love female-driven works, but I wasn’t sure where to go with that. It was the day before the prompt was due, and I sought help from our substitute teacher who was filling in that day. I told her I was stuck and showed her my ideas. We discussed for a bit, and then she brought up the idea of having a character that can save lives but has to play god over who dies so someone else can live. My brain was flooded with ideas, and I got to work right away! I started researching names with meaning so I could give my characters clever names, then made a timeline for my main character. I started writing, but realized I was going way over the word count. I then went through it and took out some detail and quickly wrapped the story up. It still turned out comprehensible, but super rushed. I do not plan to expand that story. 

For prompt three, we were to write a creative non-fiction piece where we chose three items out of a list of many to feature in our story. It could play a large role or an extremely minor role, it just had to be included somehow. My favourite genre of movies is psychological thriller, so I wrote a psychological thriller piece. I would like to expand it in the future. A girl in my school who is also in this writing course informed me that the prompt had to be non-fiction, so I wrote another piece for this prompt about my grandfather and his experiences in the concentration camps. 

Prompt four is where we learned how to create dialogue properly. I find it hard to believe that I have been writing for years and no one has ever corrected my dialogue errors! I feel so dumb for not knowing these basic rules, and so strange that none of my english teachers ever told me different. The thing I didn’t know was to end your quote with a comma if after you say “He/She/They said.” 

The first prompt is what I chose to expand. It was to create a story. Simply, a story. In my journal, I have many drafts and outlines of stories I’d like to complete one day. I knew I wanted to use my “Chemist” work because it felt so different to me. 

I decided to create an excerpt from “The Chemist,” and make my summative the first chapter of that book. I wanted it to be perfect, but there was one small problem: my inspiration was gone. I had my mind on other works unrelated to this course that I wanted to write! So how could I make this what I wanted without the drive?? I needed to get back into my groove.

After completing it, I still don’t quite feel like I’m back into the groove, but I am somewhat there. When I do decide to continue this work, I will probably add more to the excerpt. I like to leave things for awhile so after I grow as a writer I can look back and be critical. I am happy with this outcome though. It makes me want to continue building Shawn’s character. I have so many ideas for him. 

One more project and this course is done. All good things must come to an end, I suppose! I feel extremely accomplished knowing that soon this course will be over and I completed so many works in it! It was challenging, and damn straight I missed deadlines, but I got it done. And I’m proud of my pieces. Until the next post, I’ll talk to you later! 

Many things have changed since the last learning cycle. We were put into new groups, given new prompts, and learned new elements of writing. I personally really enjoyed this learning cycle. I feel like I’ve taken more from learning cycle two than LC one.  

My group members were extremely awesome. This group was a positive outlet and I’m going to miss it as we move on to learning cycle three. Each member was super talented. I really liked seeing their works develop.  

 Our first assignment was the found poems. I had heard of them before when I attended OELC a few years back, and now I finally had the chance to make my own. If you aren’t sure what a found poem is, it is a poem composed of the words of a prose piece, whether it be an essay or news article, with a new meaning. I wasn’t quite sure what to do at first. I had chosen a prose passage about a Syrian boy and his life. Once I found the passage about a soldier who got shot, I knew I wanted to use that one. I felt like the words used in the passage were so interesting and I could make good piece out of it. I never expected my final product, though. I was very proud of it, I think it is so cool how a prose passage about a soldier suffering a bullet wound became a poem on domestic abuse.  

 I think one of my favourite things about this course is how I can interact with other writers and see their work and take their advice. I have never experienced a writer’s group before, and I believe it is super beneficial. As I said above, this learning cycle was awesome. I really did have an excellent group.  

 My strength as a writer is how with less guidelines I can do better. I really think that lets my creativity run wild. When the guidelines are more specific (my weakness), I find it difficult to create. I am a freeeeeee soul.  

 Another weakness I have is my pace. I tend to jump into things and get right to the point. That is something I need to work on.  

 I chose my final prompt, “Bittersweet Goodbye,” as my summative because I felt like I could do the most with it. My first draft of it was very secretive and short… too short. I really added to it. My teacher gave me great advice, saying to get rid of the rhyme scheme. It really opened up loads of opportunities for the piece. I would read over the different literary devices powerpoint, trying to figure out how to add them into my piece. I must say that it’s much easier to just let it flow naturally. But I am so happy with the final piece. 

 I drew inspiration from the recent passing of my grandmother. She had lived in the hospital in my town for two years, but had been ill for a while longer. I often went to the hospital and spent time with her. I fed her, brushed her hair, cleaned her nose, ears, and face, organized her room, shaved her, made sure she was comfortable… It was very tough when she got worse. She had dementia and osteoporosis so she wasn’t able to function very well, couldn’t speak, and was in constant pain. She got pneumonia in February of this year and for three weeks afterwards was in a critical condition. We knew it was the end, we just didn’t know exactly when it would happen. It was very tough for all of us, our whole family came to be with her in her final moments except for two of my cousins because of their conflicting university schedules (which was tough for them both). I knew when this was happening that I wanted to make a piece from it. I wanted to channel the emotions and things that were going on. I drafted three pieces on the experience. Then, once I got the prompt of the last thing someone said to me, I recalled my mother saying “goodbye” to me in the morning when she dropped me off at school. This made me think of how we called the moment of my grandmother’s passing “bittersweet,” because she was in so much pain but we did not want to lose her.  

 The first draft was rushed, honestly. I did not know exactly what I could do for it. It didn’t fit. I didn’t like it. I knew I wanted it to be better than it was, so it was the perfect choice for the summative assessment. It has transformed so much, and it is my first finished piece of the works I’ve created corresponding to my grandmother. I was worried during the process of revising, because I was under the suggested word count. Thankfully, my teacher read my work and told me it was acceptable at its length. Phew! 

 I am anxious for what this new learning cycle will bring. I loved this one so much, I don’t want it to end! I wonder what we will be learning. See you next reflection!  

We had a lot of time to prepare

If I remember correctly,

It was just shy of three years.

I whisper a bittersweet goodbye.

Each time we’d part,

I’d say those dreaded words

“I love you”

And a bittersweet goodbye.

I made myself comfortable in your chair

Popping peppermint after peppermint

I never realized how similar they taste

To a bittersweet goodbye.

Staring at a cross on the wall

Picking petals from a flower

Praying or sending words to the cosmos:

Why must I say this bittersweet goodbye?

You were still alive,

But completely lifeless.

My fingers entwined with your dry hair,

Overthinking our bittersweet goodbye.

At 4 in the morning,

You looked me in the eyes.

Auntie said, “She’s looking at an angel.”

Through tears I murmured a bittersweet goodbye.

Auntie tells me you’re my angel now,

And I hope you see that I know not to be sad

So as I let go of your frigid fingers,

I breathe my final bittersweet goodbye.

In this course, I have gotten out of my comfort zone and studied the work of others. One of our first assignments was to respond to writing prompts. The thing I love about writing is how there are no lines to colour in. There are no limits to the words that can be written. Each person interpreted the prompts differently, and it was so interesting and educational to see.

I benefit greatly from exploring writing that is different from my own. When I do this, I read a different vocabulary that enhances my own. It is so great to learn new perspectives when it comes to the outlet of writing. I loved seeing how each person in the class did something different with what we were given. During the first week of the course, we were given small getting-to-know each other activities to get the wheels turning. We watched interesting videos and shared educational discussions. As we got more into the course, we were divided into groups where each of us would respond to a prompt and the others would give feedback. I am a bit shy with my writing, so I was anxious to start this activity. It was not my personal favourite, as I prefer to discuss through speech rather than read a comment and think of how to respond to it through my writing. Nonetheless, the advice I was given made me determined to get better. During my draft three for my summative assignment, I was given feedback that I did not agree with. I read over my work multiple times and added more to it to make it better in the eyes of the reader. I decided that I simply did not agree with the feedback, and did not feel that it was something I needed in my piece. So I fixed it back to how I liked it. I am happy with the outcome, and appreciate the advice, as it was a valid comment and I did try to make it work.

I really liked the activity where we all worked together to create a story about a group of people who survived a plane crash. It was interesting to play the writer`s version of the game ‘telephone.’ It was very engaging.

The last thing I would like to reflect upon is how I am so excited to have a blog! I am a very open person, so naturally, it is something I have always wanted to have. But, I am bad with technology, so I could never figure out how to make one! I know, it’s embarrassing. After a period of time I will not disclose of pure frustration, I finally figured out how to edit my blog page. This will be an adventure… or should I say… Jurney! No? Okay.

I know I have potential to be a great writer, but I am not sure what my strengths are. I think I need to be more confident with my work. I think I can improve my work with future prompts. I find it challenging to write when I am not inspired. I need the creative push.

My favourite thing that I have learned so far is the effectiveness of showing, not telling. I will be practicing this in my own personal pieces, and in future assignments. I think it makes the words you can write much more open, because anything can be a metaphor. I want to create witty works. I believe that I can really improve my skills by staying committed to this course.

It has already been a learning experience. I am intrigued to see what will come next in this course. I am also excited to see what else is planned for our blogs. I can’t wait to share more.

For years I had seen them. They varied in different shapes, sizes, and colours. They would dangle or cling to a person, giving them that extra sparkle. I’m not sure what exactly about them I found so attractive. Maybe it was how they had the ability to contrast with the dark blue ocean of someone’s eyes. Maybe it was how they had the power to alter someone’s entire appearance. Or maybe, it was just for the sole purpose of adding a new feature to yourself. I decided that it was time for me to indulge in such a timeless trend.

I called ahead to make the appointment. I felt a sense of excitement, and my heart began to pound like a drum. I smiled so big that I couldn’t see. I wonder how I will look. I wonder how I will feel. Finally, I will be part of the group of individuals who shine so effortlessly.

When I walked into the jewelry store, my palms began to sweat, and a new feeling flooded my body, one much darker than I felt before. I didn’t know what it was, but it was not welcoming. I was being tortured from the inside.

The lady was nice; she wiped my ear and drew on it with a pen, speaking to me calmly. Even though I was in a relaxing environment, my insides felt like they were on fire. A small essence of my hell was fighting to escape, in the form of a tear. I blinked, hoping for it to go away.

She placed the gun on my ear. The fires were burning much stronger at this point, and engulfed my entire body. I tensed up, gripping the chair so hard; I swear my nails went through the leather. Just when I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, it was over. Almost painless. The demons and their turbulent party held inside of me disappeared into thin air.

I got my ears pierced.

My name is Jurney. I’m a cat loving, mug collecting, coffee drinking teenager from Canada. That sums me up pretty well! During my free time you can catch me writing, baking, or most likely, watching Gossip Girl, 13 Going On 30, or a Leonardo DiCaprio movie. I hope as I post more on this blog you get to know me well, and I can get to know you too.

The purpose of this blog at the moment is to post my summative assessments and reflections from my creative writing course. After the semester ends, I intend to continue posting some of my writing, but also BLOGGING. I want to use this space to talk about life experiences, conspiracies (if the government won’t come after me for it), baking tips, spirituality, tourism, and probably more. I want to connect with like-minded people and learn from them, while other people learn from me too.

I look forward to sharing all I have.

Peace and Love,

Jurney